We had been here before, I know that... I can see us standing under the oak tree holding each others hands, facing one another. The frisson between us casting out auras into something that simply draws the universe to have a closer look. Then it ended so long ago, through no fault of our own.
I can remember the bullet hitting me between my eyes and my last thoughts were that I would never see you again. You begged me before I left to rather accept the white feather that would arrive - branding me as a coward. I had my honour and if I was to marry into the landed Gentry, I had to be honourable. But where was the honour in this madness, sinking into mud and bones. Dead all around me in the trenches, the stench clung. Months of mindless destruction. All to prove that I was someone worth being with. Then I took it, straight between the eyes, facing into blackness.
When I was a teen girl in the throws of hormones and sexual awakening I had my first spontaneous life regressions. The scene of saying goodbye to you at the station,the horror of the trenches, had me shivering and crying. They put me on drugs, called me mad. Labelled me like I was not struggling enough with labelling. And it took years before I woke up from the drug induced slumber and began to live again. I began to study all the things that had no explanation and finally understood who I am. And who all the people where who were around me. Oh yes I had lovers that I could place immediately.
I never thought I would meet you. You had hardly changed. By some quirk of fate you decided to come back looking like you did. Slim, tumbling dark curly hair, green eyes that pierced through me. The funny thing was that you never expected me to look the same... bar the quirk of a sex change. When I first laid eyes on you, my knees buckled and it took a while before I could speak. Your phone call a while ago had me on alert. You said that you were having recurring dreams and needed a shamans outlook. I said to you it was more like an in-look. Your husky laugh sent shivers down my spine. That night I meditated and saw you again, so clearly. And then you walked through the door...
We both felt it,but I had to be sure. I took you down gently into a regressive state and when you saw, realised and as I brought you up again you clung to me an wept saying over and over again that you had been searching for so long. We both were a little shaken...
Need I say that what are about to do, I have been waiting for over a hundred years for. I want to feel your mouth on mine,I want to breath your breath. I want to feel your fingers inside me teasing me till I cannot any more. I want to take my time taking your clothes off. My kisses never leaving you, I know that vanilla will leave you once I have made you come. We have been here before and my heart cannot believe it.
©Tass 2009
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