As I sit here in my parents’ house, I wonder how many people have felt like I’m feeling now. How many of you have traumatising (and I use the word in continuous tense because it is a continuing state) parental relations? I am already 26 and still my father has the capacity to drive me to tears and rage, usually at the same time.
Having had some leave, I decided to visit the parental unit because they asked me so nicely to come. I decided to come, more for my mother’s sake than anyone else’s. What was supposed to be a relaxing couple of days of leave has turned into a hellish, negative, conflict-filled and altogether stressful experience, which is why I never visit them otherwise. Nearly the same day I arrived, my father managed to make me feel entirely unwelcome and like a complete screw-up from the pits of hell.
Honestly I don’t know how I am going to survive another couple of days as the daughter branded as the screw-up with cell phone, internet, alcohol, spending and, friend addiction. Have you ever heard of “friend addiction”? More importantly, have you ever been afflicted with “friend addiction”? If so, I would like you to share your experiences with me. (Oh God, I sound like an ad looking for guests on 3 Talk….)
For some reason no one else has seen this side of me and I have remained successfully employed without any suspicion of my severe dysfunctionality (that is my “screw-uppiness”) surfacing. And yes, I do have friends. Point is I have maintained friendships and a good job despite being a horribly “screw-uppy” person. On the relationship front I have been less successful, attracting the wrong kind of woman only in it for the short-haul. It is the only realm in my life that is making me think my father might be looming larger than life. I never looked at it like that before, but what role does a troubled relationship with a parent really play in your relationships? I am absolutely mortified at the thought of possibly having learned some of my parents’ bad behaviours.
I can’t afford therapy. Any clues??
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