Cape Town Lesbians

Soul-Mates

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Growing up is a difficult thing to do! You have to:

  1. Get educated- through school, college, university. Just life in general…
  2. Have the right friends who are funny enough, sophisticated enough, and silly enough. Most importantly, these friends should respect your family.
  3. Get the best job, without the boredom factor and fantastic pay. Company cars don’t hurt!
  4. See the world, mostly for bragging rights. 
  5. Meet Mr. Wonderful who is a) good-looking b) funny c) kind d) rich e) fertile f)a good provider.

Now, these criteria are not necessarily what we’d like for ourselves- but rather our mothers’ EXPECTATIONS. Her payback for all the sacrifices she’s ever had to make from year 0 to year 21. And so help you if you don’t conform! You are then faced with the horror of horrors- Mum’s DISAPPOINTMENT. Violence I can handle. Throw me with a shoe or large vase; chase me with a broomstick! Anything! But don’t tell me I’ve disappointed my mum! That’s like, harsh, dude…

For most of us, number 1-4 is a cinch and number 5 is the pothole on the road to eternal happiness, on account of us being females of a contrary nature. Herein lies the problem!!

When I told my mother that I was in love with a girl, I opened seven of the Nine Gates of Hell. It was not a pleasant thing. There was much wailing, gnashing of teeth and renting of garments. This went on for six months. By the time my mother calmed down, I had gotten my heart broken so thoroughly, that all I wanted was my mummy and a box of tissues. By this time, my mother had met the girl who caused me to lose 20 kgs, and had declared her unworthy of her darling daughter! I was quite surprised.

I had thought she was my soul-mate. I even called her that, but looking back, we just didn’t fit.

Then, I met my Amy. Healer of a broken heart. Love of my life. Essence of my being. Mother of my unborn children, and everything changed. I felt different: complete, for the first time in many years.

I realized that the girl, who I had loved so deeply before Amy, had fulfilled her purpose in my life: she taught me that I was able to love. She helped me just by being there.

Before her, I had doubted my ability to feel anything, especially love. And when the relationship ended with her, the pain was so bad, I thought I would break. But at least I felt something again! It was painful, but worth it. She healed a little part of my soul. Maybe she didn’t intend to, but it was still relevant.

And the heartache led me to feeling worthy again. And led me to love and my Amy. And this time, even my Mummy approved!

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bb (180.150.229.xxx) 2010-08-17 03:22:29





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S (122.193.88.xxx) 2010-08-19 08:19:21

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