Growing up, many of us had some (not always good) straight relationship rolemodels. But few of us had any lesbian relationships to look up to. When I came out, I had no idea what to expect of a lesbian relationship. Is there a manual perhaps? An idiot's guide to lesbian dating? No... there is no manual or formula or step-by-step guide. For each couple it is different. But there are many amazing lesbian couples out there who somehow got it right. And many of those amazing couples are living right here in our favourite city, Cape Town. I'd like for them to share their stories with the rest of us, because I think that there are few things as beautiful as the love between two women. And I think it is important for us to read these stories.
Meet October's featured couple, Vivienne and Lorraine. A very special thanks to these two lovely ladies for sharing their story with the world.
Our version of Events
Vivienne tells the story of us, with Lorraine filling in the blanks:
We met when we were 12 years old. Lorraine was the new kid in class and I offered her the seat next to me. Actually, the first time I saw Viv was from a distance. I was on the tennis court; she was walking home from school. I just knew that this girl was gonna be in my life somehow. It was not a firm friendship from the start, but there was always an inexplicable connection between us. Now when I look back at that time in our lives, I see we had a sense of recognition in those early days. As though we knew then, we were always going to be a part of each other’s lives.
It was midway through high school that our friendship got very tight. Too tight for comfort if you ask me. Right to the groin!! I was hopelessly jealous about every other friend she had – It drove me crazy!
But I don’t think either of us even then contemplated that within a few years we would end up coming out together. I could not fathom a world, in which we could lead fulfilling, normal (?!), everyday, satisfying lives. But the world came along enough for us to grow secure in who we were and Lorraine and I started our life together at the age of 19. We made so many mistakes at first and got all but off to a bumpy start. We came out to everyone straight away. It was just never an option to not be out and proud of who we are. For me, the moment of realization took such a weight off my shoulders and for the first time in my life I felt comfortable, confident, relaxed. I stepped out of that little closest, and I claimed my space in the world…With one beautiful woman on my side. Coming out to our friends and family felt huge. But doing that while starting the relationship of our life and trying to find our feet in this world, was all very overwhelming at first. I honestly think it was our unwavering love for each other that supported us in our early years. And it has evolved into the greatest privilege, to share my life experience with someone who I can love and be unconditionally loved by. Watching each other grow and encouraging each other to go out there and get what you want for yourself – that , I think was one of the things that’s kept us so powerfully together. Still we guide each other through times that are emotionally tough. We talk A LOT, about everything! About what we want for ourselves, what we want for each other, what we what for us as a couple, as a family.
We got married on our 10th anniversary at the age of 29. It was a beautiful, sunny, blue-sky, Friday morning in Cape Town and I was terrified! I was cool as a cat! I have never been so nervous in front of Lorraine in my life! She looked gorgeous! It was a lovely ceremony followed by a weekend of celebration with friends and family. I feel so blessed when I think of the love and support we receive from our families, as we always have, during our time together. Probably the most sobering realization I have had is that we, living in this world as part of a minority group, are always privy to the depths of people, wherever we go. And we have found the world to be a beautiful place, where we live the lives we choose and experience boundless love within it.
We have now been married for almost 2 fantastic years and can’t wait to see what the next 12 years hold for us. I am more in love with her today then ever before and I am grateful for every day we share. Who knows where we’ll go next, what we’ll learn and discover along the way. I know that whatever life holds for us it will be glorious and I will be living my happily ever after for the rest of my life. And for sharing that journey with me, I love Lorraine so much.
Well, how can I say anything remotely as beautiful as that (with the little words I have in my vocabulary)? All I can add to this is a quote from a book I read, just before we got married, and this one paragraph, just summed up for me what I can’t possibly construct in a readable sentence.
“Today begins me walk with you. Where you go, I go. Where you stay, I stay. When you sleep, I will sleep. When you rise, I will rise. I will pass my days within the sound of your voice, and my nights within the reach of your hand, and none shall come between us. This I vow.” Love you babes!
Vivienne and Lorraine Evert – 19 Sept ‘09
