Its another day, work lies ahead and the sun has risen in its summer splendour, you are lying in bed and don’t want to get up. The thoughts that run through your head range from “I don’t feel like it” or “I am scared of…” , a range of negative thoughts that are very real because of where you are in life right now. We then shake them off and so we push them away have our coffee and face the day with heavy hearts. Taking medication in some cases, nursing hang overs from trying to forget or cope.
Twenty first living is hectic and I wonder if we were ever designed to take on the stressors of work and emotions. Many of us are pushed daily into performing, deadlines and sometimes set hard to reach goals for ourselves or others do that. Then we drive home feeling empty and the morning feelings rush back.
This cycle can repeat itself endlessly if you don’t do something to snap out of it. Changing the situation might be a temporary solution but invariably this type of situation wail repeat itself in some or form.
Let’s go back to the feeling in the morning, the feeling – the suppressed one that rose the same time the sun did. What did you do? You tried to chase it away did you not?
I want to propose that you try something different; it’s a tool that I recently discovered from a network that I belong to and wishes to share it with you. I want you to change the way that you deal with these emotions and instead of shoving them away – embrace them – yes embrace them. Weird hey? Our fast lifestyles and social norms do not take our feelings into account and they are very real body reactions that are there to be noticed AND dealt with. Suppressing these emotions invariably result in the attrition of creative moments and forward movement.
I want you to consider setting aside three 20 minute “empowerment sessions” a week where you are allowed to fully feel and experience disempowering emotions. Like sadness, stress, fear, overwhelm, etc.
Note: Even though we are allowing our selves to feel the disempowering feelings, I prefer to call it my “empowerment sessions” because that’s how I feel when I’m done. Name them anything you want, just keep them positive and powerful, not negative.
Make sure that you create the right space for these “empowerment sessions”.
Meaning, make sure that you are in a safe place, where you can simply be with yourself without any distractions and without anyone around you that will judge you for feeling these feelings.
One thing that I learned was also to make sure the time I chose to feel had a definite beginning and a definite end.
So, during this time that you have set aside, completely allow yourself to feel those feelings.
Allow yourself to feel the stress that work has put on you
Allow yourself to feel the fear of needing to pay the bills, or not knowing what to do
Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed by life and all the pressures that are on your shoulders
Simply allow yourself to live these feelings, feel them.
- Cry if that’s what you feel
- Scream if that what you feel
Just allow yourself the time, space and above all the freedom to feel these feelings without judgment, criticism, shame or guilt.
Can you do this?
The beauty in this strategy is that you learn that you can control when you want to feel certain feelings. You are the one that begins choosing when to feel disempowering feelings and when not to.
Do not skip this next step
After taking the scheduled time to feel stressful, overwhelming, sad, angry feelings, I learned to immediately go into feelings of intense love.
Identify times when you have felt completely loved. Find at least one time in your life when you have felt overwhelmingly loved. That is the feeling and moment you will revive at the end of every “empowerment session.”
So, the simple how-to strategy is:
- Consciously set at least three 20 minute empowerment sessions every week to feel stress, fear, overwhelm, angry, sad or any other feelings that arise.
- Make sure you have a specific beginning and end time.
- Eliminate all distractions and do this in a “safe” space
- Allow yourself to just experience these disempowering feelings without guilt, shame or judgment.
- Wrap it up by recalling and feeling one of your intensely, loving moments in depth at the end. (do not skip this step)
Take a moment to begin feeling the power of this easy Exercise right now.
There is no need to rush.
Now here is a tool that you can use in an instant that will pull you out of an emergency emotional situation.
The How:
1. IDENTIFY THE FEELING to yourself. Stop and figure out what emotion(s) you are feeling. Is it anger? Guilt? Fear? Grief? Stress? Sadness? Whatever it is, get in touch with naming it right now.
Make sure you label the feeling. Don’t just say, “I’m not happy”. Find out what the feeling is that is making you feel the way you do.
Also, you may choose to excuse yourself from what ever situation you are in to quickly address the pain and eliminate it. Step outside or use the restroom. No one and no thing is more important than YOU and your well being. So take this time for you.
2. FEEL THE FEELING. Take the time you’ve set aside to feel all of the emotion completely.
Giving your self permission to completely feel the feeling in an objective sort of way is very freeing.
Know you are in control and can choose exactly how long you want to feel it.
After a while of doing this, you will find that it will usually only take a few moments before you naturally move onto step three.
3. EMBRACE THE FEELING. This is powerful!
What you will instantly learn is that every time you embrace the feeling is that the feeling only comes to protect you in one way or another.
Think about that for a moment.
Every time you embrace the feeling, is that the feeling only comes to protect you in one way or another.
The first time I did this, I immediately felt honor, respect, and love for the feeling. It felt like my friend instead of my enemy! And you will too.
Realize that the feeling is merely your warning system.
And at this point, you will instinctively know what you need to do to protect and take care of yourself. It will just become clear.
Think of it this way:
It is like your feelings came so they could deliver a message to you.
Embracing the feeling changes everything.
I promise, you will feel such a love for yourself and gratitude for your new friends, your feelings. You will never be a prisoner to your feelings again.
To think, all these years we have been stuffing them down or drowning them out with food or whatever, and now we can just listen to them instead.
Before doing these exercises, I know I felt like my feelings could devastate me and now I knew they were my protectors. What a revelation!
What about you? Can you see that?
4. EMBRACE YOURSELF.
By embracing yourself, I talking about turning inward and embracing this beautiful person inside of you that is feeling the emotions.
Embracing yourself will feel quite heartwarming and touching.
Many times, but not always, tears will come to my eyes on this step. The good kind!
You will immediately know and feel who you had been during the stressful times.
We are so hard on ourselves. This incredibly easy, natural process will now make you feel like you want to protect and take care of yourself in a gentle, loving manner, instead of a fight or flight manner.
Your feelings for yourself will soften and became tender, maybe for the first time in your life.
Enjoy this feeling…
You will feel honor and appreciation for yourself.
You will feel compassion, understanding, and deep love for yourself.
I know when I did this for the first time, I was simply cherishing me. It felt complete.
Can you imagine feeling this too? I encourage you to do it.
Thank you to http://www.yourhomeformastery.com and to Evolution Ezine for sending this powerful tool.
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