Ideology you ask? – yes that’s it, ideology!
What is modern heterosexual society’s big idea around the theorization of “brand names” for homosexual women?
I have put the focus on homosexual women in particular as they seem to be extensively covered in the label department.
In my opinion there are so many profound and totally illogical labels out there in the big ole universe which have been used to describe the complexities around sexuality in general, but feel it necessary to highlight a few of the burning issues I, as part of the lesbian community, have faced in my “living loud and proud” days.
On coming out, everything was new to me. I was so to say a re-born lesbian.
I’d like to make use of a colloquial lesbian term here and say: - No I’m not a “gold star” (natural born lesbian) as some would say. I don’t conform to society’s expectations. I merely took the time to explore my sexuality and understand exactly why I felt the way I did about women. My conclusion? In Layman’s terms? - DAMN I friggin LOVE women…
I went out into the COLORFUL world with a clean canvas. Exposed to all elements of the homosexual community.
Sadly I soon had my canvas tainted with a hard “black & white” brush of reality… Hate crimes, extreme criticism, rash judgment, discrimination
and of course LABELS
The one thing I most definitely despise, is being issued with a heterosexually endorsed label!
And boy! Did I come across some seriously misguided hetero’s.
Now, please, I am not hetero bashing but merely stating my point of view. So in my view, I clearly made my point by singling out plenty of self confessed hetero labelers, willingly sharing their useless ideology and tactless labeling techniques with their brainwashed buddies.
My point of view… – Can YOU See it?
I mean, could you, as an out and proud homosexual female, Imagine being tagged with the likes of:
Lezzie
Lezbo
Diesel Dyke
Gap Lapper
Fanny farmer
Clam catcher
Ditch digger
Lilly Licker
Coekie klapper (100% South African, but not proudly…)
The list is E n D L E Z !
The typical conversational scenarios I found myself in with heterosexual men and women about why I am “different” were often hilarious yet extremely infuriating in their own right.
I generally try to look at the lighter side of things and tend to handle certain situations from a comical approach. I suppose it’s my way of dealing with nonsensical crap really!
For their personal clarity and sordid satisfaction, I would often sarcastically and with a dollop of truth (in their eyes, rather jokingly) reply:
No – I don’t eat from the furry bowl… on my planet we wash our dishes. See?
No – I didn’t come out of the “lick-her” (liquor) cabinet… do you have any idea how small it is in there? I prefer full sized closets!
No – I am not in “dick denial”… I just prefer to steer clear of potentially harmful foreign objects.
No – I don’t just need a REAL man… let me explain it to you again, slowly and in a “pre-schooler” manner so it’s easier to absorb - I am a LEZ-BEE-YAN! See?
No – I’m not just confused… Could I offer you a nice cup of “piss off” with a side order of “get with it” ??
No – My sex life is not “fishy”… on my planet we are in favor of personal hygiene. Idiot much?… √ Check!
No – I don’t like bearing down on the bearded burglar… I’m a LEZ-BEE-YAN, not a PO-LEASE-MAN! Let’s leave it to the professionals rather huh?
No – Contrary to popular hetero belief, I don’t make use of an open can of tuna as potpourri!… on my planet our households are kept clean and do not stink, therefore no potpourri is needed. Besides the fact that potpourri went out with the settlers, remind me again when and how exactly you passed grade 1?
No – Making use of sex aids such as dildos or strap-on’s, does not make me straight, nor do I long for a penis… I merely long for a genus: “Sandy".
I do however long to explore every avenue of my partners body and am adamant that a dildos resemblance to a penis is purely accidental!
I could go on forever but choose to save my dignity and avoid any further unnecessary exposure to this vile labeling system.
Hetero’s who unfortunately oblivious to our human emotions continue to fabricate distasteful words and phrases to describe a lifestyle they couldn’t possibly even begin to fathom.
Clearly there are way too many derogatory lesbian “catch phrases” to mention and I could publish a novel on all the strange questions or snide remarks I have come across. Yet still I continue to have faith in humankind.
I will keep the faith that humans can be kind and we can move forward, leaving behind Neanderthal logistics and the minority of narrow minded nincompoops!
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