"The psychological rule says that when an inner situation is not made conscious, it happens outside as fate. That is to say, when the individual remains undivided and does not become conscious of his inner opposite, the world must perforce act out the conflict and be torn into opposing halves."
-- Dr Carl Gustav Jung
Some fine day someone is going to say something to you and it will hurt to your core. But could it be hurting that much because they have touched a truth? Owing your shadow side can be liberating if you dare to. It may have come as a shock that you are not as pure and wonderful as you think you are.
The concept of having a shadow side to ones subconscious was first coined by Freud. Its neither a good or bad thing but if you become aware of it you can begin to start living a more conscious life. Living consciously will allow you to curb those tendencies within your personality that might be harming yourself and others.
Changing your view of your inner being from one of fault to one of responsibility can help renovate what happens in your world. Your behaviour is on of your own making, and what takes place inside of you will be reflected in your life. This is not achievable overnight and takes time and practice. It’s a constant thing and not a once off event to face that which you think might NOT be true of you.
The best tool for recognising when you are having to maybe take a moment and digest is your emotions. Be aware of the actual physical response, is it feat, anger, depression etc. By using the psychical reaction you will be alerted that something is perhaps knocking to be looked at a little more closely. When you are either in the act of pointing out someone else’s errors – there are three fingers pointing right back at you – so before you go ahead and throw out those words that cannot be recalled – take a moment and reflect if this is perhaps something that needs adjusting. Often times not facing these aspects will not allow you to move out of the victim moment into the victor.
David Richo Phd recommends that you embrace the A’s of your shadow.
Acknowledge that you have all the attributes humans can have, that you contain both sides of every human coin. Acknowledge that you have the specific negative traits you see in others that evoke a strong reaction of repulsion in you. The urge to observe coexists with its opposite impulse to expose.
Allow yourself to hold and cradle these as parts of yourself. Acknowledge that they may have gone underground for a legitimate purpose and are now ready to be turned inside out and become something more creative and empowering in your life.
Admit to yourself and to one other person the fact of these shadow discoveries about yourself.
Make amends to those who may have been hurt by your denial of your own shadow: "I saw this in you and it is in me. I have blamed you for what I am ashamed of in myself." Make amends to anyone you have hurt by any underhanded ways your shadow has impacted him/her.
Become aware of the kernel of value in your negative shadow characteristic and then treat it as you did the positive shadow above: affirm it as true of yourself, act as if it were true, announce your discovery and program to others who can assist us in following up on it.
By using these tools you will begin to become so much more than you ever thought you would be! Take charge and don’t be afraid, do it!
